Bismillah

Tuhanku, Tuhan Maha Agung Seluruh Alam,

Tuhanku yang menerangi gelap malam.

Aku hambamu yang tahu dan takut,

namun tidak pula aku menurut.

Aku bercita,

namun tidak pula aku berusaha.

Engkau Tuhan Pemberi Petunjuk,

nyalakan apimu andai hatiku sejuk.

Kejutkan aku dengan acaraMu,

jangan biar hatiku jemu,

Mengharapkan taman,

indah ciptaanMu Tuhan,

Aku tidak pernah melihat,

tidak pula aku mengingat.

Jika kasih,

dengarkan aku merintih.

Karena kamu cuma satu, Ayam Brand.

Jumpa kat dapur tadi. Tak tau siapa punya. Tulisan dekat tin bahasa thai, tapi 'baik sebelum' je ditulis dalam bahasa melayu. 2012. Gua stret habiskan.

"Ayam Brand kot." Mungkin benda ni je dalam fikiran masa tu. Syaitan aku memang kuat gila.

P.S.: Jangan cerita kat orang lain aku curi makan. Cerita kat kau je.
P.S2.: Sebenarnya tu tajuk lagu kat bawah ni. Awek cun gila.

 

Tiup-tiup. Kebas-kebas. Sapu-sapu. Berhabuk gila blog. Dah setahun tak layan blog. Outdated gila blogspot. Orang mula blog, nak buat jugak. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr. Semua sama je. Tak nak ketinggalan punya pasal. Hidup bosan, tapi dalam blog cerita macam-macam, nak bagi nampak menarik. Citpodah. Tak pun nak cerita pasal twisted philosophy kau tu. Kau sorang je yang cool dan betul. What the hell la dunia sekarang ni.

Sampai satu masa aku rasa macam budak-budak tulis blog. Idea merapu-rapu. Serius tak cool. Macam pondan aku rasa. Sama macam orang lelaki guna lol. Tak cool. 

Okay sebab lain aku berhenti tulis blog adalah kerana mak aku suka baca blog. Bukan tak suka mak aku baca apa aku tulis, cuma rasa janggal. Sebab orang lain tak baca sangat pun, mak aku pulak yang tanya, "eh bila nak update blog?" Tapi mak orang lain ada ke baca blog? Cool kan mak aku. Aku panggil dia mama. ☺ ⇐ Smiley sepam walaupun smiley tak cool, tapi sebab aku sayang mak aku, tak kisah jadi tak cool sekejap.

Tapi sekarang, aku dah tua, tak cool mana, aku akan tulis blog kadang-kadang. Sebab hidup aku sumpah bosan.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Night Wind Blows.

Night wind blows the leaves; rustling on the trees, swirling on the ground. 

The smell of oranges marries with the smell of smoke.

A friend sleeps and snores.

I wish you a good dream.

Life may not seem easy, but it is easier to pretend.

Night wind blows. 

Together there comes the light rain, thus completes everything.

What become of the likely pain, remember this and it's nothing.

Tapi Nanti Sakit Jugak Aku.

Group Werkstoffkunde Cibob

Which Garage?

Experimenting with GarageBand. Only music. Have a listen. Click here. 

I'd be glad if you can drop one remark or two. Good day!

(: <--Does this turn the smiley upside down in facebook chat?

You can't just say "Oops!" when something went wrong, and something went wrong like once in half an hour. This just doesn't feel right man! Throw it on the ground!

Imaginary Cool Robots Are Not The Reason Why Guys Watch Transformers.

I believe every straight man would kill just to watch Megan Fox pole dancing. So I search the name Megan Fox (pole dancing) on YouTube. Unfortunately she's not into pole dancing, but someone drew her portrait: Megan Fox - Digital Painting on photoshop.

It reminded me of that graffiti application in Facebook, if you know, but in a more advance way. If you watch most of her painting video you might notice, the songs were written by herself.

Stephanie Valentin. Talented girl never fails to acquire my salute.

"But what about those who are very good at pole dancing?"

Yeah, that too. Inform me if anyone find a video in which Megan Fox pool dances.

Smoking And How To Stop Smoking, For Me.

I just could't sleep today. I drank two to three cups of cold tea and smoked like, maybe 5 cigarettes- just a rough guess, maybe more. And I googled about something regarding my recently discovered health problem before I decided to click on "Smoking And How To Stop Smoking".

And here I pick a few interesting topics from the article.

"...The signs of addiction to cigarettes include:

• Smoking more than seven cigarettes per day
• Inhaling deeply and frequently
• Smoking cigarettes containing nicotine levels more than 0.9mg
• Smoking within 30 minutes of awakening in the morning
• Finding it difficult to eliminate the first cigarette in the morning
• Smoking frequently during the morning
• Finding it difficult to avoid smoking in smoking-restricted areas
• Needing to smoke even if sick and in be..."

I think there's one more point they're missing; feel the urge to smoke just by analyzing and thinking whether you have or don't have all the signs stated above. Yes, it is indeed very true.

Here's more;

"...Getting ready to quit smoking

• Set a date for quitting. If possible, plan to have a friend quit smoking with you.
• Notice when and why you smoke. Try to find the things in your daily life that you often do while smoking (such as drinking your morning cup of coffee or driving a car).
• Change your smoking routines: Keep your cigarettes in a different place. Smoke with your other hand. Don't do anything else when you are smoking. Think about how you feel when you smoke.
• Smoke only in certain places, such as outdoors.
• When you want a cigarette, wait a few minutes. Try to think of something to do instead of smoking. For example, you might chew gum or drink a glass of water.
• Buy one pack of cigarettes at a time. Switch to a brand of cigarettes that you don't like..."

However:

• "What date is today? Shit, I have to go remind my friend, it's his birthday!".

• "It's 10 a.m. I want a smoke.". "Oh, it's 10:30 a.m. I wanna smoke." (5 minutes after the last cigarette) "Where's my fucking lighter???! I'm gonna shit!" (and light another cigarette).
  

When: everywhere.
Why: every possible reason .

• You drive, you open the window, you hold the cigarette with your right hand- your usual hand. You sit next to the driver, you open the window, you hold the cigarette with your left hand- your other hand.

• "Let's go outside." (30 minutes later) "Let's go outside."
  

• No comment. It's just useless.

And if you are serious of quitting, then don't go for nicotine-containing products. Smoking is cheaper in many ways. Or snogging.

Pre-Departure

Jangan menangis sayang
aku bukannya apa
tadi dah cakap kan sayang
sayang taknak percaya
sayang seorang
bagai cahaya
siang dan malam
sumpah ku kan setia

sampai disini kawan
kita berjumpa nanti
mereka kata kawan
datang dan pergi
mungkin satu hari
kita bertemu muka
jangan segan nak tegur
mungkin aku belanja

maafkan saya abah
saya keras kepala
saya jenis yang susah
nak dengar kata
saya ingat selalu
kata abah dahulu
fikir-fikir
jangan bertindak melulu

janganlah sedih mama
saya pergi tak lama
doakan saya mama
sampai berjaya
kalau tiada
khabar berita
maksudnya saya
sihat-sihat sahaja

Klik untuk lagu

(Nothing of Interest)

What should I do,
to make you smile?
I am no fun as a stupid clown,
Should I take you out to town?

How do I say it?
Just put a nice smile,
on that lovely face of yours,
You will feel all better because,

You're stronger than what you know,
It's stupid I know, what they'll say,
It's today or tomorrow,
There will surely come your day.

Don't be all sad,
There's nothing you want to regret,
Oh yes I know,
Maybe I don't even know,

How you feel right now,
Or maybe I just somehow,
Talk way too much,
It's because, you're a nonesuch,

You're stronger than what you know,
You'll get over it, or so they say,
Don't be surrounded by the sorrow,
Because when you do that, the sky turns grey.

Bahasa Melayu Kelantan.

Read the dialogue part.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelantanese_Malay

Whistle For The Choir Parody.

This is the original song by The Fratellis.

I wrote this parody version just for fun. Here it goes.

Yes It's You...r Sister.

Well it's a big big city with all that big structures,
Oh she's too pretty, talking 'bout your sister,
Is it out of line if I were simply bold to ask a pic of her?

And when she put that smile I know I'm not all right,
And I just can't feel the beat of my heart,
It was 3 o'clock, the time, when she was on your skype that night.

And I wish it's not true, that you want a BMW,
Oh you're a silly girl, you know I'm hurt, I just don't think
that I can buy all three,
She knows me, she doesn't even know me,
And I don't lie, yes I, she caught my eye,
A girl like her is just irresistible

Well it's a small small city in which you live in,
I know my friend tried to burn her kitchen,
And I must confess, my hearts are broken pieces,
When her head's a mess,
And it's 4 in the morning, when I'm changing the lyrics,
It's not quite easy but I have the spirit,
And it's you, woo hoo,
That's got me going crazy for the BMW.

And it's really cruel, why'd you ask for BMW?
Oh you're a silly girl, you know I'm hurt, I just don't think
that I can buy all three,
She knows me, you don't want her to meet me,
And I don't lie, yes I, she caught my eye
But her sister is unbelievable.

But you're so demanding, to ask such expensive gifting,
Oh my sister to be, oh me, when you, demand,
I die, you smile, you ask, I cry,
And only, if I have that much money,
Then I don't care, I will buy you BMW,
Even a rocket's still affordable.

This One Isn't Called MySpace.

Bukan pasal lagu 'MySpace' Pia Zahari.

Tapi bunyi dari rumah.

http://www.myspace.com/qalbimukmin

Aku suka lagu "Aku mahu tidur". Sempoi.

*Masa aku sekolah rendah dulu budak-budak selalu ejek nama datuk orang. Aku pun ikut sekali. Aku ingat nama datuk budak perempuan kelas aku; Pachik Irisamy Philhawara. Sekali dengan nama moyang dia. Tapi aku lupa nama budak perempuan tu.

Alien On The Earth #4 ( Summer and Winter )

Last winter, I didn't take a bath. Not "not at all", but it's like once per two or three days. I didn't have serious problem regarding bad body odour, that the thing is, I smell rather good (self proclaimed), even if I don't take a bath, in winter (have to emphasize on winter because this-not-bathing season only goes well with that season).

There's a saying in Malay, that goes, "Malang tidak berbau".

Summer begins and because it can be quite hot sometimes, I now bathe myself 2-3 times a day, except for weekends, that I love lazing around doing nothing, and shower 2-3 times a day, is way too much for me as I always sit on my sofa with my new ventilator on, and I have never been sweating too much for quite a long period (I have no activity partners here, it's not that I'm a geek. Ulm sucks). Last time I was poured off with sweat was when I played paintball, in early May.

I can be rather unfortunate sometimes.

Eight Pounds! Say Whaa?

Ben now has grown big.

I traveled to London last month. So to start off we (there were 7-8 other friends) arrived at Stansted Airport in the evening. Stansted is not really in the middle of London that it take almost an hour if I'm not mistaken, to reach the city center. We decided to rent a house just for the stay in London because it was cheaper that way. We found one in West Ham on the Internet. The owner of the house said that if we wanted to rent, we just had to be there before 9pm or so on the day of our arrival. It was getting late, and since this was our first trip on our own, we had no clue. We tried asking for information, from the tourist center and from anyone we can find.

Well it was London we're talking about. Being here is like a sweet spring escape due to the fact that we will not be using German for like a week or two. To make short story even shorter we really had problem with communication ever since we tried to settle down in Germany.

"Why the fish the Germans didn't use English at the first place?" I know most of us must have once thought like that.


....


....



I'm actually pausing just now. But with picture.

There was this situation, I asked the man at the counter about the price we must pay for the bus ride, he replied, kinda sound like this, "aigh pounds."

What he just said, the sound wasn't very familiar to my ear. Was that English? Nothing near what we usually heard. It was with accent.

Later I learned it was eight pounds.



** I may look like I'm super good at maths with all that symbols I used, but frankly, that's all I know!

Because I'm Not A Good Son. (Part 2 - Sleeping Beauty)

I remembered my old friend from my class when I was in boarding school, Hafiz whose brain so smart he could memorize everything inside the chemistry text book, all that little details; important or not, including that "do you know that?" part at every page. He slept every time there was a chance. Like when there was a ten minute gap between the block, he will sleep. I wonder what's he doing right now. Sleeping I suppose.

Oh and there was Hakim, that guy was levels higher he slept after class ended, I mean at 2pm, and woke up the next day morning and went to school again.

Do you know that lately I've been sleeping all day and waking up all night?

(Silence, no slight response of shock, like it is nothing new.)

Go on reddude (not redtube). Ask anything.

Question 1- What is your bedtime?
My regular sleep pattern starts at 7 or 8 am and ends at 1 or 2 pm. ("Really...?") Okay, I bluff. I wake up at 3 or 4 pm. At first I kinda thought I was nocturnal, but I notice that even if I sleep early the night before, I end up sleeping in the afternoon.

Question 2- Since when do you...err...what should I say
Oh. I know what you mean. I remembered when I was a child, mama used to train me and other siblings to have an afternoon nap. A rebellious kid I was (and I am), I opposed that idea. She said it was good for health. I stopped just there, no intention of debating (despite that rebellious fact I was actually afraid). But at first I pretended to sleep. Not always did I pretend because if I got caught she will boil up and began attacking me, which I mean, verbally, or babbling (don't underestimate her fighting skill). Later on I figured out myself using my mind of judging things that the actual reason she wanted us to sleep was because we were so annoying that she couldn't concentrate doing her work.
("('-.-) but...that's not what I wanna ask...")

Question 3- Did someone want you to change?
Err...not sure but I know mama does. There was a time when I was in high school, mama was really pissed at my sister and I because we slept a lot during every afternoon. She did expect us to clean up the mess in the house or to help her out in the kitchen but we were sound asleep, in front of the t.v. If she was in mtv show "boiling up", she will not get that 100bucks because she had used her combat ability, and she told us we will be useless if we kept on like this. I took that advice seriously, but not until sister whispered to me, "Bla bla bla. It's her fault anyway." I'm kinda guy that lose concentration and forget my motivation so easily.

Question 4- Any last word?
If there's another reason I enjoy waking up at night, I'll say it's because it always rains at night, at that smell of the rain somehow reminds me of home. I love that kind of moment.
("What's with that proud face! He thinks he just said the coolest thing??")

Last thing I remembered about that late night show was chairs, were flying, in a same direction. Never once knew about flying chair before.

Decision For Dummy Danny.

What if I were given only one chance to change everything, will I be considered as running away from what you have so far? Will I be the thankless?

Only one chance.

You don't know what will happen next, if you stay. But what about the alternative path? We don't know either.

Oh, I hate it for not trying. But I seriously don't like changes.

I maybe play dead. Sit around and watch everything works as it is. I maybe feel awful at first but it'll get better soon.

And oh, the poem 'the road not taken' never had brought so much meaning before.

Thousand Excuses.

I used to give up with friendship.

They pretended to be just nice before our eyes and they acted the other way round behind us.

I thought the world would be better on my own, when no trust you gave no pain you received.

But later on, I found everywhere there was hatred, and doubt. It was not because of the people, it was because the barrier I placed inside. It was terrible. I forgot how to love, and be loved. I forgot how to talk, and please others. Show respect and you'll get the same.

I forgot how to open the heart.

I notice not everyone is the same. Some are loveable, and some are just like the previous me. We people live among each other. I try to blend inside. There's so much I've done. But no you better not think you can always apply the reverse gear when you drive falsely. Such thing isn't feasible. You'll find out the best you can do is to slow down.

What you want to do you have to be ready for the consequences. There's action. And there's reaction. It's physics.

That's why we learn history.

Because I'm Not A Good Son. (Part 1)

Sigh..I've been told that mom expects to read updates in my blog more often. Tell her about what's going on, what am I doing, which are not my stuff. I think she has misunderstood me for having a web log. Plus, I'm not expecting her as one of the readers. Sorry though, for not calling home for quite some time. I'm having problem with this laptop. Tell her, should she wait some more, I'll make it worth the wait. So mom, here's your update.

Jet Lag

Because I slept at eleven and woke up at 6 the next morning for when I had just arrived in Germany, my friend asked, "why don't you have jet lag like the others?" Oh, do I? Yeah, that sounds like it.

At first I kind of agreed.

I thought my bad habit I had in Malaysia (sleep at day, wake up for the whole night) was long gone, maybe because my motivation was stronger.

Until recently I was believing it that my motivation level was higher.

Now I'm back with my old habit. It comes clear that I do have jet lag before. Bad huh? Yea I can hear you babble now, but you can be happy that I haven't change so much.

Sharing Is Caring? Think Again.

For some reasons, for me, friends and mates bring a lot of differences in meaning. I write about this later, for now I'm referring everyone I know as friends.

I used to live in different places, meet different kind of people with different mentality, and be far away from home for quite a time. I was brought up that way, by the environment, and by my own thought of judging things.

I met a lot of friends too, from schools, college, everywhere.

There's a situation which I'm pretty sure it's not just me who have experienced it before.

I met up with my ex-school mate X that brought another friend Y, whom X knew from his course, along, to watch movie together. I had never met Y before, so it was my first time. We talked but then X and Y laughed over something they used to talk in class, which I didn't find it funny, or even understandable. It popped in mind, "W.T.F. (optional)?Am I missing something here? They're better not making fun of me." Then I faked a smile, looked stupid though.

I call it, whatever it was they talked about, jargon, when one doesn't understand the terms the other groups use, and yes the terms can sometimes be in your own language. And you don't have to be a professional to make one.

No matter what the jargon is I don't bother to understand. They have something they share (sounds gay huh?).

It will turn out just the same for Y, if A and me laughed over our high school friend Z.

Err.. fuck it, it's too complicated to be explained. X and I might have our lame jokes together back then in high school, and as Y wasn't in our group, Y will not understand the jokes. As for college friend X and Y, I am now excluded from their group. Together, we have to form another group, other than that "high school group" or "college group", maybe something like "movie group". So when we discuss about the movie we watch, X, Y, and I will all resonance to one another.

I prefer what happen in one group to stay in that group. It's something that you and that particular group share.

You don't go out and discuss about how good is your sex with your wife, or how bad it is. You don't offer them, "Here, try my wife, then you'll understand how our marriage life is like."